So, in spite of it, I like to eat chocolate cake while playing.
My balance is fine, thank you very much.
I am in decent shape.
I can do yoga.
I can do push ups and lunges and jack knives and twists.
But I still don't fit your "standard".
I used to.
I used to be a stick with no curves but that wasn't good enough either.
So now that I have curves, they still aren't right.
I'm supposed to lose weight.
I'm supposed to eat healthy.
I'm supposed to forget that we only live life once so we should enjoy it and not waste it counting calories.
So, Wii Fit, I dare you to make me feel inferior.
I dare you to tell me that I can't eat chocolate cake. Or Oreos. Or cheesecake. Or pizza.
I dare you to make me feel like I'm not good enough.
And yet, I somehow feel guilty for that piece of chocolate cake.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Internet
Click. Click. Refresh. Click.
Type Type Type Oblivion Type Type Brain Implosion Type.
Losing touch of reality with each click click click.
Switch the tab and hope for something new and exciting.
Nothing new.
Refresh.
Click.
Refresh.
I wish I had a refresh button.
Type Type Type Oblivion Type Type Brain Implosion Type.
Losing touch of reality with each click click click.
Switch the tab and hope for something new and exciting.
Nothing new.
Refresh.
Click.
Refresh.
I wish I had a refresh button.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Dazed and Confused
I recently started freelancing/interning for a local publishing company. This = AWESOME. The problem is that I'm writing about NC history (which I know ZERO about) for middle schoolers (which I relate ZERO to). I need to have a story written (about 6-8 pages) about the Revolutionary War by tomorrow. Right now I have maybe 1 1/2 written. Maybe. If I up the font to 16. And, go figure, today I'm feeling more lost than usual.
Cracker Barrel, while I don't mind working there, has really begun to steal my soul one god-awful Grascal song at a time. I've been moving displays and checking SKU numbers like its my job (which it kinda is) for the past three days straight from 7 in the morning until 2 in the afternoon. Oh, and I've mopped up old lady piss too. And that was after spilling the mop bucket all over the restaurant because of some imaginary lip in the floor that decided to pop up to ruin my Tuesday. I've sold chocolate scented bears to people under the pretense that you should cuddle it when you have a food craving and it will keep you from wanting to snack on chocolate. How this makes sense, I'm not quite sure. But it has been working. A lot more than I feel comfortable disclosing.
But getting back to the point- I've been feeling lost lately and I feel like it's all culminated into this morning's self-esteem implosion. I'm not a kids writer. I use words like "culminated" in everyday speech. I write metaphorically with symbolism and depth. Not "Susie knew that history was super boring, but since Ryan thought it was cool, she decided to play along since he is sooooo cute." I know I'll write the story. And I know it will end up being what the publisher wants. But I don't want to lose my ability to write for adults. I don't want to dumb down my writing to the point that I dumb down myself. That shit can happen. For real. And that's scarier than the streets of Pittsburgh after the Steelers lose a game. Never been in Pittsburgh after a loss? Neither have I. You know why? Because I value my life.
All I want to do is cuddle up on the couch and play WoW like the nerd I am. I also want to watch the next episode of Heroes on Netflix (that show is strangely addictive). I wouldn't even mind breaking out my old binders and cleaning up some old poems or writing some new stuff. Or maybe I'll just write another blog about the Cracker Barrel purse snatcher. Or maybe about my uncanny ability to eat chocolate cake while playing the wii fit.
Instead I will end this for now and start writing to preteens about NC's part in the Revolutionary War. Super awesome guys. I, like, totally can't wait.
Cracker Barrel, while I don't mind working there, has really begun to steal my soul one god-awful Grascal song at a time. I've been moving displays and checking SKU numbers like its my job (which it kinda is) for the past three days straight from 7 in the morning until 2 in the afternoon. Oh, and I've mopped up old lady piss too. And that was after spilling the mop bucket all over the restaurant because of some imaginary lip in the floor that decided to pop up to ruin my Tuesday. I've sold chocolate scented bears to people under the pretense that you should cuddle it when you have a food craving and it will keep you from wanting to snack on chocolate. How this makes sense, I'm not quite sure. But it has been working. A lot more than I feel comfortable disclosing.
But getting back to the point- I've been feeling lost lately and I feel like it's all culminated into this morning's self-esteem implosion. I'm not a kids writer. I use words like "culminated" in everyday speech. I write metaphorically with symbolism and depth. Not "Susie knew that history was super boring, but since Ryan thought it was cool, she decided to play along since he is sooooo cute." I know I'll write the story. And I know it will end up being what the publisher wants. But I don't want to lose my ability to write for adults. I don't want to dumb down my writing to the point that I dumb down myself. That shit can happen. For real. And that's scarier than the streets of Pittsburgh after the Steelers lose a game. Never been in Pittsburgh after a loss? Neither have I. You know why? Because I value my life.
All I want to do is cuddle up on the couch and play WoW like the nerd I am. I also want to watch the next episode of Heroes on Netflix (that show is strangely addictive). I wouldn't even mind breaking out my old binders and cleaning up some old poems or writing some new stuff. Or maybe I'll just write another blog about the Cracker Barrel purse snatcher. Or maybe about my uncanny ability to eat chocolate cake while playing the wii fit.
Instead I will end this for now and start writing to preteens about NC's part in the Revolutionary War. Super awesome guys. I, like, totally can't wait.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Jar of Hearts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM
i'm too tired to write tonight so here is a link to what i've been listening to on repeat for the last 2 hours. literally. i'm not even kidding. 2 hours and it hasn't gotten old. kickass.
i'm too tired to write tonight so here is a link to what i've been listening to on repeat for the last 2 hours. literally. i'm not even kidding. 2 hours and it hasn't gotten old. kickass.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Patrick Stewart has soft sweaters
I'm currently sitting in our living room where for some reason it is approximately -236 degrees. The Kingdom Hearts blanket just isn't cutting the cold today. And it's snowing. Well, flurrying anyway. It's supposed to blizzard sometime today. I'm sad that it hasn't. If it insists on being colder than Dickens, I expect massive amounts of fluffy white happiness to be covering the world around where I am positioned. So much snow that I can't go to work and fiance must stay in too. No school or Cracker Barrel for anyone! Yet, 'tis only flurries that fall from the sky. Saddening my heart. Filling it with melancholy woe.
I wish I had something super warm and soft to bundle up in that would eliminate all signs of the arctic weather down here. Perhaps a sweater like Patrick Stewart has. He has super soft and warm sweaters. I know that for a fact. I know that sounds silly, but it's the truth. Wanna know why I know?
Because I touched him.
Well, I touched his sweater. And it was super soft. Like a chinchilla after a dust bath. Only not. I must investigate the material in his sweaters and then buy many for myself. My new cozy sweaters would keep me toasty on days such as this. And they would remind me of the time that I touched Patrick Stewart and somehow didn't get maimed by his bodyguard for doing it.
In short, they would be the best sweaters ever.
I wish I had something super warm and soft to bundle up in that would eliminate all signs of the arctic weather down here. Perhaps a sweater like Patrick Stewart has. He has super soft and warm sweaters. I know that for a fact. I know that sounds silly, but it's the truth. Wanna know why I know?
Because I touched him.
Well, I touched his sweater. And it was super soft. Like a chinchilla after a dust bath. Only not. I must investigate the material in his sweaters and then buy many for myself. My new cozy sweaters would keep me toasty on days such as this. And they would remind me of the time that I touched Patrick Stewart and somehow didn't get maimed by his bodyguard for doing it.
In short, they would be the best sweaters ever.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
In Laws
I would like to think that my soon-to-be-in-laws like me. I'm never really sure though. Some days they're all "You are too awesome!" and "I'm so glad you're here!" and other days they're like "Why do you exist?" and "What do you want from me?" and "You have ruined our son." Needless to say, I never know if they're going to like or simply tolerate me while I'm around. They are supposed to be coming to visit either today or tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it because regardless of my shortcomings as a daughter-in-law, seeing them does make Alex happy since he's never been away from home. On the other hand, I haven't finished cleaning the house. And I have no desire to do it now. And I have to leave for work in 15 minutes. And I have no idea if they will be here tomorrow or when I get home from work tonight. Hence the predicament. So here I sit, eating popcorn shrimp that I baked in the toaster oven, drinking caffeine to help me get through work today, remembering that I not only need to clean before they arrive, but that I also bought cake mix to make a birthday cake for my father-in-law. I believe I may be baking said cake while he is here. Because I'm obviously not doing it now. So we'll see if they show up tonight or tomorrow. Either way, I hope they don't mind a messy house.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Saliva
Alex and I have been marathoning seasons of Bones recently. What can I say- I love the show and I have managed to get him addicted as well. So I come home from a long day at work and he has the next episode loaded up and waiting to watch. I find this sweet so I lay down on the couch with him to enjoy. Did I mention that it had been a super long day at work? Okay. Mentioned. Yet, fiance was hoping to stay up late and watch the rest of the season (3 episodes in total... meaning 3 hours... and I got home after 10 PM). Here is his attempt to convince me:
Bones episode on during the following conversation:
Hodgins is talking to Brennan about the source of saliva found on the clothing of a victim.
Fiance: Speaking of saliva... wanna swap ours?
Me: What?
Fiance: I was trying to be romantic.
Me: It didn't work. What do you want?
Fiance: I wanna watch the end of the season. There's only three episodes left.
Me: No.
Fiance: Please?
Me: No.
Fiance: We can swap saliva to make the time go faster.
Me: No. No. And No. I am exhausted. You can stay up to watch, but I will be going to bed after this one.
Fiance: Even though I offered to love up on you?
Me: Yes. Although the idea of "swapping saliva" is rather wonderfully appetizing, I am tired.
Fiance: (sensing sarcasm) Okay fine. I'll just live vicariously through Bones and Booth.
Me: They don't kiss in this season.
Fiance: Shit.
Needless to say, I went to bed and he followed. We will probably finish the season tonight as I actually get off work at a decent hour. I love my romantic fiance.
Bones episode on during the following conversation:
Hodgins is talking to Brennan about the source of saliva found on the clothing of a victim.
Fiance: Speaking of saliva... wanna swap ours?
Me: What?
Fiance: I was trying to be romantic.
Me: It didn't work. What do you want?
Fiance: I wanna watch the end of the season. There's only three episodes left.
Me: No.
Fiance: Please?
Me: No.
Fiance: We can swap saliva to make the time go faster.
Me: No. No. And No. I am exhausted. You can stay up to watch, but I will be going to bed after this one.
Fiance: Even though I offered to love up on you?
Me: Yes. Although the idea of "swapping saliva" is rather wonderfully appetizing, I am tired.
Fiance: (sensing sarcasm) Okay fine. I'll just live vicariously through Bones and Booth.
Me: They don't kiss in this season.
Fiance: Shit.
Needless to say, I went to bed and he followed. We will probably finish the season tonight as I actually get off work at a decent hour. I love my romantic fiance.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Work
This is going to sound simple, but I really and truly have no desire to go to work tonight. Alex is playing Lego Harry Potter and I feel like joining him. Instead, I am blogging whilst eating sugary snacks that will keep me awake and on my feet until 10 PM. I could be playing Hermione right now. Just saying. I have no idea why I am blogging about this. And yet I continue to type. Maybe it's just to prove that I still can. Hopefully I can write something a little more insightful later. If not, I will leave you with this:
In the same way that the movie did, the Lego Harry Potter game completely ditches the logic/potions section with Hermione after Ron's chess game and before Harry fights Quirell/Voldemort. I find this entirely unacceptable.
In the same way that the movie did, the Lego Harry Potter game completely ditches the logic/potions section with Hermione after Ron's chess game and before Harry fights Quirell/Voldemort. I find this entirely unacceptable.
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