oops.

i don't give a damn about my lack of motivation.
i'm getting married in 21 days.
and no one has been paid.
i have off tomorrow.
it can wait 'til then.
:)

best i've got

go easy on me, baby.
i'm doing my best.
i can only hope that it will be enough
to get to the better side of me.

bring out the hurry and the slide
it's only a matter of time
until we slip
into it.
or out of it.
but hopefully into it.

there is no end in sight
to this confusion i'm creating.

just remember, honey,
you're all i've got.

Pop

my crazy heart races with each beat
boom
boom
boom
amplifies the sounds of my head
buzz
buzz
buzz
breaks into rhythm with my toes
tap
tap
tap
moves with the grace of my soul.

have you ever felt so much at once that you felt as if you were about to explode?

Dust

i feel badly about this poor blog gathering dust.
my resolution to keep writing has fallen behind in the mix of the world.
i am turning over yet another leaf.
i will return to this world of writing my thoughts.
i will attempt to work harder on the writings that actually matter.
and i will keep myself dusted off.

let's see how well this goes.

tornado

there's a fight inside my soul
it scratches at my brain
it latches on my heart
it tears me apart.

there's a fire in my mouth
it poisons my breath
it moistens my lungs
it's all overdone.

i am a ticking time bomb.
i am a walking mass of turmoil.
i am a tornado.

go.

i'm falling apart
while falling on you.

i'll take you down with me.
you must be a masochist, honey.
why else would you still be here?

despite my sick smile, you know.
you know it's all a lie.
there's something dark and dead inside
grasping at straws
pulling at you
pulling at me
cage it up, honey.
hurry quick before it gets loose again.

my salt stained cheeks speak volumes
and the spots of color on that pillow don't lie.

the animal is already out.
no way to save me now.
just hold on to me tight
so i don't shake apart.

hold on to me tight and don't let go.

so i wanted to write something for myself

and here i am.
writing.
something.
nothing much.
just a little something.
to prove that i can.
end.