so i wanted to write something for myself

and here i am.
writing.
something.
nothing much.
just a little something.
to prove that i can.
end.

time

life moves quickly.
no way to slow it down.
i'm going to try to trip it.
and see if it falls to the ground.
palms spread into the dirt.
get up and dust them off.
by then i'll be gone.
time is never enough.

move.

watch the water.
watch it move.
stop the whirlpool
with your pinky
toe.
down the drain.
just like you.
a signal goes off
deep in the pit
of your brain.
move.
get up.
move.
motivation is failing.
fleeting.
gone.
no desire to leave
the porcelain grave
you have dug for
yourself.
only desire is more
and more
and more
water.
long to stop
the whirlpool.
to feel in control of
something.
a sound like creaking
breaks through.
cogs turn
and twist
and fall back into step.
the machine wakes up.
reality says hello.
you are twenty something.
you have a dead end job.
you are alone.
you are naked.
it's time.
move.

it's been a while

so work has been chowing down on my soul recently. 40 hour weeks aren't as simple as they seemed to be. and this job is exhausting. but i've been battling the wii fit in my down time. trying to lose some extra poundage before this dang wedding. so far so good. only about 8 more pounds to go to get back to my weight before moving to this silly state. i also had a mary kay makeover last night from one of my co-workers. and it was awesome. i've never been given a real facial before, so this was a new experience. i have a feeling that i'll be getting a bunch of mary kay stuff soon. and perhaps selling it in my downtime? i'm not sure. it seems like fun so who knows. i don't know too many people down here to sell to, but it is nice stuff. so many paths and they all seem to go in completely opposite directions. publishing. lens crafters. mary kay. graduate school. wedding. writing. teaching. it's hard to keep track of everything. i just need to get myself straight and then focus on the other stuff. i don't really know why i'm posting this but i'm going to anyway because this is my damn blog and i'll post what i like even if it's a waste of time and completely irrelevant to everything in the world.

oh, and i've also become obsessed with Kingsley. if you don't know who he is, look him up. friggin hysterical.

Welcome Back

welcome back to the world
he said with a smile
so tempting to run
but which way?
to or from his words
neither makes much sense.
so i will stand here
waiting for the world
to hit me
waiting for the world
to set me down
let the sand envelope
and hide me away
like a piece of rock
sand me down
til i'm pretty again.