So I Tried To Start A Fight Club...

But it failed rather miserably. I was watching 30 Rock the other night and I've been craving more Chuck Palahniuk books so of course starting a Fight Club just seemed like the right way to make my otherwise boring life a bit more interesting. Since fiance is the only person I really know down here, I decided that I would have to start it with him. I began planning while making dinner. Crucial decisions had to be made before I could start. When to start? Where to hit? Should I hit with my hands or just start with a pillow or something soft to judge his reactions? Should I wait until after his homework is done? What if he does like the idea and then never gets back to his homework because he has a black eye from our impromptu Fight Club and now can't read the papers or write with his right hand? I decided to wait until after the homework was completed and to begin with a pillow fight of sorts. So there he sat on the couch, watching TV, completely unaware of what was about to ensue. I sat down obnoxiously close to him, gripping my pillow close, and just stared at him.
"What?"
I stare at him without speaking.
"Seriously. What are you doing?"
Stare more fiercely.
"Ok."
He goes back to watching TV while I stare at him in silence. He watches me suspiciously out of the corner of his eye. Slowly relaxes back into watching TV. That is when I decided to strike.
*Wap*
"What was that for?"
Stare at him in silence.
"If you want me to do something, you have to speak."
*Wap*
"Seriously. What are you doing?"
*Wap* *Wap* *Wap*
This is when he grabs hold of the pillow.
"Are you trying to start a Fight Club?"
"No."
"Uh huh."
Then he turned back to watching TV. Like nothing happened. What the hell. That's when I had to admit defeat. My plan had failed. My Fight Club was short-lived and somewhat pathetic. More of a Pillow Fight Club. Whatever.
At least I gave it a shot.