They came to the door once about two weeks ago and in my half-asleep state I answered it. Yep. I'm an idiot. And as I'm standing there uncomfortably in my doorway for about ten minutes listening to them talk about how awesome Jesus is, all I can think about is how I can get them to go away without being super rude. At one point, I almost responded with "Yeah, Zeus and God are like brothers or something, right?" but I kept my mouth shut and just smiled without answering. After they winded down and handed me a Watchtower pamphlet, they kindly removed themselves from my stoop and went on their merry way, professing to come by again soon to see what I thought about my readings.
Now let me tell you something about this Watchtower pamphlet: it was an English major's nightmare. Grammatical errors are not to be forgiven, even by the big guy himself. This pamphlet looked like a 2 year old wrote it after a brief stint at vacation bible school. I let myself go on a few existential rants about the existence of God and what it means to have faith. I even thought about typing up a response to them to give them if they came back entitled "Treat Others As You Wish to be Treated: Don't Preach to me Unless You Want to be Preached to As Well." After a couple of days passed, I threw away the pamphlet and decided against the essay, hoping that these women wouldn't follow through on their threat to return.
Now I'm sitting here in my kitchen with the blinds half-open as they caught me by surprise. Did I mention that I'm curled up under the table hoping that the chair next to the window will block whatever body parts may be visible?
Yep. This is my day. Hiding from the Jehovah's Witnesses standing on my doorstep.
You should've kept the pamphlet and corrected it in red pen for them.
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