The past few weeks have been a little on the crazy side. From visiting family and friends for two weeks to being quarantined in our apartment with the flu, fiance and I have been through a lot. After getting online this morning for the first time in days, I was bombarded with "Happy New Year" spam. I didn't even realize at first that today is New Years Eve. Usually I get rather excited about this day. It never fails that I feel hopeful on New Years. It's almost like this unspoken promise floats in the air that we are forced to breathe in filled with hope for better times in the coming months. There is nothing different about today compared to any other day. Yet, we gather with our loved ones and drink our faces off in the hope that the coming morning will seem just a bit brighter than days past. The hangovers the next morning seem shorter. The world tastes sweeter. I, for one, have many hopes for 2011. I hope to get back into school. I hope to find a job that challenges me and helps satisfy my need for fulfillment. I hope that we will be able to continue to make enough money to pay the bills and buy the groceries without worry. But when it comes down to it, I don't know if any of this will actually happen. That's part of the mystery of life. I can only hope.
But there is something that feels different about this year. Knowing that the date will no longer be 2010- that it will be 2011. Knowing that in June of 2011 I will be getting married to the man I love. No, he's not the man of my dreams. In fact, he is better than that. He has shown me that the man I dreamed of had flaws. This man that I am marrying knows me better than I know myself. He cares for me and loves me no matter my flaws. And tonight is a promise that 2011 is coming quick. And I can't wait to make that next step.
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